Saturday, August 13, 2011

Even the greatest joys bring challenge

Brian and I have recently gone through a rough patch in our relationship and during the process it altered our views of each other and it eventually put things into perspective. I'd be lying if I told you we're the perfect couple because.... we're not. We're not perfect at all and that's completely okay because we do our best. Like in any other relationships, we argue, make up, learn, and move on to the next challenge... sometimes we repeat the same mistakes to finally learn. In the end of every challenge, we find ourselves stronger as a couple and as individuals. I believe we lasted this long because we have never wanted to give up on each other when times got tough. I mean, we have argued to the point where we've considered that "single life" option but then we realize how much we enjoy the "relationship life" even more. Why? Because it's challenging. It's exciting. It's a challenge itself to be in a relationship because it requires a lot of sacrifice to make the other person happy; it requires forgiveness and believing in the best in them; it requires honesty and trust; it requires more listening than talking which then leads to understanding; it requires a little jealousy to motivate us to appreciate the little things; it requires a lot of patience; it requires empathy; it requires being completely yourself; it requires acceptance. And to be honest, ALL of these requirements are easier said than done.

On top of all that, you're challenging yourself (and each other) during the process. The ways that I've challenged myself is mostly through self-control in terms of emotions. Controlling my emotions has changed my impulsive behaviors. I've also learned to channel my emotions into hobbies such as art, music, cooking, reading, writing, and sometimes running. Another one of my many personal challenges, was finding that self-respect. In high school, I had low self-esteem (or self-love, whatever you want to call it). I was self-conscious and it didn't feel good to be in that state of mind. Being with Brian, he showed me my worth. I know it's weird that I found self-respect from Brian because usually people are supposed to love themselves first before loving another like the saying: "love yourself first before you can love others" ...well I found my self-worth the opposite way. I learned to love myself after loving another person. In fact, Brian just got the ball rolling for me - I did the self-lovin' on my own :)

Overall, our victories together gave our relationship value/essence/quality... which to me is worth investing my time and heart into.